Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1

Assignment 2: Persuasive Paper Part 1: A Problem Exists 

Peer reviews should provide feedback to a peer on the criteria expected in the paper. Follow these instruction:

1)  Comment on all criteria, noting strengths and / or areas for improvement on the feedback form.


For this assignment I chose the topic, “Should changes be made to the regulations for foods that are served in public schools?” This topic hits close to home for me because I currently have children in Elementary school, and I was severely disappointed to witness first-hand the foods that are made available to them during lunch. I believe children would benefit from eating lunches that are made fresh at cafeteria’s every day, in lieu the pre-made frozen items that they are served in cardboard containers. It is truly shameful what is our kids our being served in schools today.

My thesis statement for this assignment is: Regulations for food served in schools should be changed to provide fresh and healthy meals for children which will combat hunger, reduce obesity, and prevent disease. I believe these are the key points which one would consider when evaluating the current situation and future goals of our school’s meal programs. Fundamentally, a meal should first of all be healthy, because if not, what is the point of shoving garbage down our children’s throats, knowing that preservatives and artificial chemicals are linked to disease’s like cancer. Additionally, foods that are mass produced and then re-heated are filled with plenty of chemicals which cause obesity in our youth. Too much sugar and salts, which are necessary for preserving foods, lack the nutritional value that growing children require every day.

Those who will read my paper include, of course, my professor, and fellow classmates. However, I hope that through writing this I am able to learn more about the current situation and what can be done to improve food regulation for my own children, as well as subsequent generations. It may be something that I can email and send to school committees here in my community, and then be able to enact some changes. I want readers of my paper to become aware of the lack of nutrition in our school’s lunch program today. Preliminary research on the subject, as well as first hand observation, has shown me that of the kids who do eat a school provided lunch, about 29% still come home hungry. This is because they flat out do not eat it! They throw them away after picking at what they think will be the most edible and tasty. Policy makers need to know that our tax money is being literally thrown in the trash every school day. It will be my job to persuade them to create regulation that bring back fresh made, healthy hot lunches to our schools every.

The scope of my paper is to highlight three main issues that are caused by the current food program, which as stated in my thesis are to combat hunger, reduce obesity, and prevent disease. It is unfortunate that the current regulations are limiting the number of calories that kids consume as a universal standard. As stated in one article in Time Magazine, author Alexandra Sifferlin elucidates that calorie restrictions are becoming so restrictive, leaving many children hungry after lunch, especially those engaged in after school sports and recreation (Sifferlin,2012) The second issue and focus of the paper is to direct attention to the fact that hot lunches today actually make kids obese. Even though food portions are coming under much tighter guidelines, the foods kids are served are simply reheated chicken tenders, frozen pizza, etc. The whole program now is basically a re-heat and serve process. And the foods are not fresh! According to an article in Readers Digest, children who regularly eat school provided lunches are 29% more likely to become obese than their peers who bring lunch from home. And lastly, I plan to discuss the fact that the preservatives used in school lunch food is linked to disease’s like cancer, heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. The problem with school lunches is that they are made with high salt, sugar, and saturated fats, which are having a significant impact on the children among our nation.

So, what is the right program which would improve our children’s health? What foods should be offered, and how should they be prepared? Is there a way to create a program that will suit the need of varying nutritional value, while still remaining fiscally feasible? I think there would be a significant advantage to cooking fresh ingredients every day in an on-campus cafeteria. Foods should be provided through local markets, and monitored by local supervision for quality, and standard. No more frozen, re-heated, mass-produced food for our children. They are too great a resource to waste, and kids deserve to be nourished with healthy and fresh food each and every day.




Website TitleTime

Article TitleMore Food for Hungry Students: USDA Tweaks School Meals

Date PublishedDecember 31, 2012

Date AccessedApril 17, 2018


URLhttps:// TitleReader’s Digest

Article TitleCan School Lunches Cause Obesity? | Reader’s Digest

Date PublishedMay 23, 2016

Date AccessedApril 17, 2018



Article TitleDiseases From Eating Unhealthy School Lunches

Date PublishedOctober 03, 2017

Date AccessedApril 17, 2018

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